Money.

My arms are feeling weak, I painted for 5 straight hours. I didn't brush, I dabbed and let the paint mix colors on the canvas. It's in acrylics so I had to keep going so that the paint didn't dry out on me and lose my ability to blend. I painted an autumn goddess for Linda to give her daughter for Yule. Linda loved my small chakra goddess painting I did and had donated to the auction benefiting the Pagan Services Association and ADF. I decided to do this for 60 dollars. This worked out to 12 dollars an hour, works for me ok.

If I could find my digital camera I would photograph the painting and post it here. Or rather, WHEN I find it. :p

I hope that Linda likes it. I like it. I think its even better done than the little painting I did.

I have shakyness from my fear of success though. Probably why I asked for 60 and not 100. I could tell Linda wants to offer me more but was unsure how to ask.

I told Andrew today that if I didn't have a fear of success I'd have a 4 year degree in fine art instead of a 2 year in design, and I'd be skinny already. I always chicken out of things. Agreeing to do the commission was a big step away from that.

At the ball I heard a lot of different people as they looked over my painting. Being the validation whore I am I listened in, the strangers not knowing the artist was standing just behind them, the girl with the hat browsing candles for like forever. They liked it, a lot of people were saying it was lovely. It sold for 15 dollars. Later, others were suprised that it didn't go for more, but most items went for 30 or less. After the ball Linda pursued me a couple times to find a chance to talk about a commission and we agreed on one Friday night at the coffee circle.

I get these same jitters about my comic, which I am about to go draw a page for. I host it on drunkduck.com now, and I assumed it would go unnoticed. There's a couple people leaving comments now saying how they like it. It makes me excited and scared at once. The excited part makes sense, the scared part doesn't.

Edit: The pic is the best I could do by angling my laptop webcam for now. I'll do a blog entry about the meaning in the painting once I can get a better shot with a good camera.

Gesso takes forever to dry, and I can't prep my canvas without it. *sigh* And I'm so eager to start painting. I'm about to just dive into oil paints. I dabbled before and barely messed with it using little kits. This summer I bought over half a dozen large tubes of paints, and I have linseed oil, and I have cleaners for later, and I'm going to dive in and do a portrait from halloween of my friend Alyson and her baby daughter Aislyn preparing to go trick or treating. (See photo.) Alyson is also 6 months pregnant in the photo with daughter #2, Lyra. When Alyson was a baby, her mother also used that same white shirt to dress her up for trick or treating as an angel.

Yes, I am a big Mary Cassatt fan, why do you ask? :P

Ah life, sometimes its so like painting. You see the project in your mind, but you have to find something to do while the gesso dries before you can get started.

That practice makes perfect. *takes a sidelong glance at her painting work area*

Ugh I hate these games and they're EVERYWHERE....


1) What are you thankful for today?

The blackout material for the bedroom window was half off, so I get to keep the sun out the bedroom.

2) What do you appreciate about the Earth?

That Texas is warm right now, because Alberta sure isn't.

3) Who is the last person you said “thank you” to?

The girl at the post office that rang up my shipping.

4) When was the last time someone thanked you?

Emily thanked me when I took over pushing the stroller for her when her arms were full of vintage ornatments at the antique store Wednesday.

5) What is your favorite way to say thank you?

I just say it and smile. It's simple, honest, and appreciated.