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changeover
June 2009 
The Gaia/Zaadz Pain Body
Posted on Feb 24th, 2008
by 
WonderlandAlli
WonderlandAlli
I was thinking while doing dishes today, and was emailing Siona back and forth, and in doing so I realized that there is a pain body associated with the transition from Zaadz to Gaia that affects the community. It exists throughout the community, whether you feel frustration over the change, or whether you are defensive that people are being overly critical for it. I'm sure there are those that are above it and are not contributing to its growth, but it seems whenever I've logged into Gaia lately there's been a blog or article on the front page with tons of attention simply for having anger expressed at Gaia and Gaiam. I had written an email to Siona, to reply to one she sent regarding my words in FriendStacy's blog. About not taking off until I see its finished, and making my decision then. I want to share some of the thoughts I had with you.
In describing how I feel about the changeover that occurred, I said to her,
I feel like my favorite hole-in-the-wall fair trade coffee shop just became a Starbucks. Nothing is wrong with Starbucks in essence, which shares ideals about fair trade and clean farming, but the feel, the homespun uniqueness, is gone. A strong part of me hangs on to wanting that back, and its why I haven't run off.
And after sending off the long email, I went to my sink, and began washing dishes by hand. When you lack a dishwasher, the sink becomes a meditation place. While my conciousness focuses on removing food particles from plates and pots, the real me thinks over recent events and the folly of the ego. It's in that state I realized the following, which I also wrote in another email.
I asked myself, if you're willing to use a Starbuck's when nothing else is around, then you don't completely hate it, your ego is just miffed at the lack of what was there before. Can that be overcome? Can I step aside from that?The reality of Gaia is that it is full of caring people that want to grow and create change in the universe. The pain body would have me think it is filled with anger and deception by a vague corporate identity and that I should run run run as fast as I can.
And I thought some more, if I can hold my breath long enough, can I jump back into the site more thoroughly, instead of allowing this miffed ego to get turned off the moment I see someone complain? Am I reacting to the reality of the content of the website, or am I allowing myself to be controlled by the collective pain body that has formed around the changes, that feeds off people becoming mad or upset?
I think this pain body has formed from existing pain bodies finding a new target and combining over the internet. For me I know it stems from the same personal pain body that keeps me very wary of governments, authority figures, and upper management. It all started when I was paddled in the principle's office for talking sass to my teacher...
Returning to topic, Eckhart Tolle says that the way to thwart the ego, and the pain body, is non-reaction.
When you're on the computer dancing through the internet, you present those dancing with you with an identity. It's like the internet is a masquerade ball with swirling dresses and glistening masks. People tend to want to put out a certain way to show who they are, but we can never manage to show entirely who we are by using words, which is what the internet is based on.
The indentity is the place the ego dwells in and reacts within to what happens around it. So when you're swirling in that ballroom, and someone spills wine on your gown, you're bound to speak up about it.
But how do you speak up? Do you rant and rave? Do you run away to the powder room to try and clean it privately? Do you punch the offender out? Do you look for other people with wine stains and commisserate as a group?
If you ignore it and say nothing, and don't commisserate with others who have a stain on their gown, then no one will likely notice it, as you're not drawing attention to it.
That is how you let these issues disapear. Let it go personally, one by one, and eventually this pain body in Gaia will dissolve and we can focus on the real purpose of this community. Positive change in the world, and the growth of our spirits. Every moment wasted on argueing whether you like one or another aspect of the changeover isn't going to change the fact that it happened, and this is the present Gaia that we dance in, so let's focus on making it postive instead of holding it back in anger.
Access: Public
Yes, I'm glad you've spoken about the pain body and all else. Like you, Gem and I have also blogged earlier about the meditative aspects of cleaning dishes!
The pain body that's come up, is due to our innate resistance to change. The inertia principle. But it is also because a re-balancing is taking place. The raft became unsteady as it moved from a small pond to a bigger ocean, going through the rapids. And as we moved around, some of us leaving and others trying to rebalance ourselves; the aches and pains are coming up.
There is so much synergy nowadays among all our energy bodies; and the energy bodies of us all, that it may seem to be exaggerated. Those of us who are vocal may be talking for many of the silent ones; but at the same time, there are voices of equanimity that need to be heard too.
I have just posted a meditation on the Power of Light pod
Would love as many Zaadzster-Gaians who feel drawn to it, to join in.
I find myself doing the same thing with folding laundry as I do with the dishes. I guess its true there are no menial jobs.
I'm trying to think of the Gaia pain body as a fire, its going to burn high, but eventually it will run out of fuel and dissipate. Trying to make a concious effort not to touch it, just to give non-reaction.
Gonna go check out that pod now :)
Wonderful post! As for dishes I like the idea of housework as meditation :-)
… and this is the present Gaia that we dance in, so let's focus on making it postive.
Oh, Allison. This is beautiful.
And while I think it's important to have a space for shadow and to acknowledge and even honor the felt-reality of those feelings and concerns, I love what you've written here about fueling the fire. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.
Hi there. This is such a wonderful post. I have been struggling and unable to come up with why I feel uncomfortable with the changes. Your Starbucks comparison hit the nail on the head. It is so simply perfect that I wonder how I did not see it before. I wasn't a huge contributor before the change. Right before and during the change I started to find people with whom I resonated. Still I resisted getting involved as I was not sure I would stay. At this point I think it is a fair assumption I will stay since I haven't left yet! And if Gaia.com is the Starbucks of conscious social networking, is that so bad? Sure I prefer the warm comfort of an overstuffed couch in an old school coffee house but let me tell you, when work gets crazy I run to the safe haven of Starbucks one block away where they know my name, know my drink of choice and always have a smile!
Thanks again for the little bit of enlightenment!
AlcheMystic, I'm so glad I was able to help you word it! I know, I spent like 20 minutes writing and reading and editing my email to Siona, trying to find just the right words to explain how I was feeling about it.
Allison thank you for your wise words…
It is said that in Japan at a certain time of the year all the temples banish their 'evil' spirits, but one temple is very compassionate and welcomes them in, as they to have a place in the world. Like the helping spirits in fairy tales often have a dark face, the goblin, the evil one. Turn and face your 'enemies' and they become friends.
It is important for us all to listen, for these more difficult emotions to be given a place, to be heard, that we should respect those with the courage to express ALL that they are, but in that process they become lightning rods for swirling negatives that need to earth.
That it is important to are to express ourselves fully, in the full spectrum of light to dark.
In my teens Professor Xavier of the X Men taught me that the multiverse is not black nor white but a kosmos of endlessly shifting greys. The line between good and evil runs through the centre of every human heart as Solzhenitsyn tells us. We have a black horse and a white horse pulling our chariot of ego/spirit and both need feeding and and nurturing.
…
Excellent post WonderlandAli,
I am new to Gaia (only 3 weeks now) and I must say that this community is a God-send, if you will. I have been consciously aware of my BE-ing for four years now, and have been struggling with the feeling of being an insignificant plankton in a great big, vast ocean. Now that I know there are many other “real life” like-minded individuals (aside form the ones that I have learned form in books) my eyes and awareness have been opened up to a whole new world. I have been borne into a world where I am not the anomaly, if you will, to one where I am simply and fish in a small pond. I can now see that there is great big change for mankind and this planet just on the horizon. Let me tell you, what beautiful sight to see as I look upon all of these beautiful souls here in this wonderful community.
Since I was not apart of this fabulous community before, the switch over, I cannot say anything about the difference between the two. What I can say is that no matter where you go on this planet, there will always be someone who feels the need to complain, to bring attention to themselves. This is their ego's incessant need to take control of their thoughts, actions and emotions (we all struggle with this one). By trying to fight against your 'pain body' that arises out of the mind, you only succeed in fueling the fire. Acceptance is the key to enlightenment.
Neale Donald Walsch talks about this in his book “Conversations With God,” he says, “What you resist persists, what you accept disappears.” To overcome our re-actions (to pull from our pain body the remembered actions of previous experiences and re-acting to them) we must learn to take control of our thoughts and see them for what they are (re-act-tions). The more aware we become of our thoughts, the more we come to the realization that all our re-act-tions are remember actions to previous, similar situations (habits). Becoming aware of these habits allows you to choose a different re-act-tion, or should I say, ac-tion, since this time you will be choosing a different way to act to a given situation. I we seek to change ourselves, from within, the world around us will change as well. This is the only way that we can heal ourselves and the world; with our thoughts words and actions.
Become aware of what is truly bothering you about what others say. Look at it, stare it directly in the face and laugh at it. Tell yourself that that thought or emotion is just an illusion that your mind creates to try and get you (your soul) to follow it; which, of course, it can never truly do, for your soul can never be controlled. Your soul is pure essence, it is timeless and formless; it has no maker or creator; It is the all of all. “Free your mind and the rest will follow”
I guess what I am trying to say is that, with all change there is good and bad. Love both and you shall never know pain and suffering again ;-)
I’m not a bad addition to the party, am I?
~Namaste~
Brian.
Just thought I'd add my two cents… I joined just a few months before the changeover, and confess that being a change agent in many environments, I knew what to expect in transition. That and living in a developing country by choice tends to teach you resilience!
I am also very much aware of the natural resistance to change. Are we the only species that fights it so much? I wonder…
Anyway, I accept that the bumps may be a bit uncomfy; but I do lose patience with extensive debates on the bumping when the whole aim of the website and community was to grow with its numbers and develop into something more significant and hopefully powerful! This was the intention if we are to make a difference in some of the more important areas of the world.
Tech hitches seem so small when I think about AIDS in Africa and poverty everywhere except the 'Western World'… know what I mean?
I think we are honoured to have access to such technologies and communications mechanisms. And I think our evolution as a species was supposed to make it easier for us to use these modern gifts for contribution … not as new tools for complaint. That's all I have in my thinking in this case. If a larger entity that can perhaps reach more people at higher decision making levels comes into play, I can't think of a single good reason to be bashing it. I think it is wonderful that a social enterprise should be given such attention from a corporate entity… it's a truly good sign.
Would GAIAM like to adopt MY company? ;-))
I feel the plight of the poor and the people seeking refuge having lived there and knowing others who have lived through these things. I know that I am truly blessed… EVEN to have internet… So I'm leaning much more on the side of positivity rather than [wasted] energy on … essentially non-important things.
I'm more than ready to take my knocks for this.
But I'll love you anyway.
Take care and think 'bigly' please. 'WE' need it.
Sherri
Nara-Narayana, you are not a bad addition at all, you're golden! Your post is great! You're right as well, there are negative people everywhere that you will encounter, as well as positive. I see what you're saying, choosing a new and better action over the re-act-tions that knee-jerk us into chaos. Different from my non-reaction, but equally valid and equally a great choice. Where you laugh at what bothered you and bring happiness, I dissolve it (What I mean by that is not letting the ego take over and give the event great importance when it really is of no consequence in the grand scheme of things) and move on to a happier place. In the end you and I are doing very similar things.
Sherri, have you ever watched a cat react to moving into a new home? Or cats reacting to the addition of a new kitten in the home? They resist change too, it takes time for them to get used to new space, expansion of the family, or even just the couch sitting on a different side of the room. Eventually they get over it and everything mellows out and returns to balance. I think humans and animals have a lot in common that way.
And you're so right, the shift here is tiny compared to Darfur or Afghanistan.
WonderlandAlli, It is you who is Golden! Don’t ever let that beautiful Golden light fade. You will always have friends here in this “Gravitational Community” to help you keep you beautiful energy flowing.
Peace, love and joy to you, always; and in ALL WAYS.
~Namaste~
*deep bow*
Brian. (Always here to support you)
Wonderful posts, all. Everything resonates so beautifully.
I realize also that the resistance to change and pain arise when we are in victim or disempowered mode; when we believe there are forces out there, or the big evil corporation, or someone else who has power over us; or who is more powerful and more of a change agent than we are or than “I” am. De-humanizing others while humanizing ourselves.
Once we see that all that happens in our life, is a result of our choices, and/ or its meaning to us can be chosen, by changing our focus or perspective; we feel empowered and the pain vanishes.
Meenakshi, and that's exaclty what people are saying, the “big evil corporation” or at least just “Some big corporation” or just a “corporate feel” that they aren't happy with. Too many people associate corporate with the hamster wheel type jobs that fill America, working for “the man” and slaving away and an automatic resentment pops up.
When I emailed with Sionna she filled me in all about Gaiam's history, eco standards, and ethics, and how they were doing this stuff since the 80's when no one else was. (Egads, I was only born in '83!) These were things I didn't know before, and had thought it was a green-is-chic company like how every big corp is trying to Go Green to make people happy. I learned that when you make yourself feel like the victim of an entity you don't even know much about, you're only enslaving yourself to the fears your imagination thinks up.
Truth and love will ALWAYS win out! See my Gandhi post here: http://sherrilene.gaia.com/blog/2008/3/the_truth_-_wisdom_from_someone_who_knows. Of course a bit of patience on my part was good for me too.
I knew that a deeper introspective [just made up that word I think] would have come through ultimately with respect to this. That was my own immediate reaction: the fear factor had emerged. And only the truly panicked within themselves will blast about an external entity that honestly has zero control over them. I had to believe it! The result was even better than I imagined, the usual when real faith is applied.
Secondly, the fact that Gaiam has chosen to not 'sell' itself as a saviour and a gift to the entire world etc. is such a transition from traditional marketing that only the truly mature could appreciate this humility, this commitment to the greater good rather than to show and impressions etc. If we were supported by an oil company, we would be seeing their ads blasted everywhere we go, I'm sure, before you could open a QAR, another person's profile, keep going…! THERE ARE NO GAIAM ADS ON THE SITE!!! Just a link, which, frankly, I never get to.
Nursing the fears of others can actually be hazardous to your own body… I'm learning that from my own experience… particularly in a faith based organisation, which, let's be honest, this is the most modern approach to faith based organisations around! My company has evolved as such also and continues to… So I am walking the path, eyes wide open, to see where it will lead to, since there are no pointers I'm familiar with in this case.
But my point is, the more time we spend trying to help someone overcome their fears [of change in this case, which is actually the only reality], the more of our own fears get riled up, being the sensitive human beings that we are, and actually, the less focussed intention we could give to the cause most close to our hearts - a better, more loving, more compassionate, more conscious world.
Thanks Meenashki and WonderlandAlli for your contributions. I really appreciate them and respect the both of you for your sharing of personal wisdom. [That would be the new meaning to that word I made up hahahah]
Perhaps it is time that we all know some more about our 'parent company' GAIAM so that we can appreciate where good intention has brought us to… to an entitiy that even 'above' the community, we could be proud of… no need to keep it a secret! [It feels so at times.]
Thanks!
Blessings and continued evolution to all of you.
Sherri with hugs.
Nah your subconcious vocabulary just surfaced, introspective is the adjective form of introspection, to look within the mind. <3 I've done it before, couldn't figure out once if emboldened was a real word or if I had made it up, and it is, but at the moment I had a co-worker insisting it wasn't a real word and I should quit trying to “talk smart” LOLOLOL
Nursing the fears of others can actually be hazardous to your own body…
Indeed, a few weeks ago I'd get on the site, a fear-mongered post would be front page news, I'd get exhausted browsing it and then leave the site entirely and do something else to feel better.
let's be honest, this is the most modern approach to faith based organisations around!
The evolution is that its not based in just one faith, its based in the unity of every imaginable path. There's just such a medley, and I love it. Its this medley that makes it work, if someone started this as a religious site for one particular path, I wouldn't be here today, I would not have had an interest. The moment it became based on only one of the world's religion, the global unity that Gaia is all about would have shattered.
Perhaps it is time that we all know some more about our 'parent company' GAIAM so that we can appreciate where good intention has brought us to…
I know Sionna has some entries in her blog trying to do exactly that, to introduce Gaiam to the community. You might want to browse there. (Or at least I think that's where she posted them.)
Very nice Allison, always trying to help raise people's awareness'. You truly are a beautiful BE-ing filled with lovely golden light.
Shine on, Shine on…………….
:-)
Brian.
I don't think there is another place in the world i could have made so many friends so fast and had so many wonderful encounters with them. I'm truly blessed. I've only been here 10 days.
It's so easy to get into an us & them duality. It's part and parcel of our existence. But I don't see any evidence of anyone destroying this community. it is growing. and people are happy. the more people that are here the better. Someday there will be people here in my neck of the woods and i can go for a walk with them.
I wish there were a way to prevent Murdoch and News Corp from buying we though….should we prepare a disaster escape pod? :-)
What a wonderful post Alison. I actually have been familar with Gaiam for years….I had/have a non profit devoted to information and resources in the green and holistic communities. I actually was glad Gaiam was around…for they were a great resource, for my town was so out of touch with anything green. I have been a consumer of their products for years. Even though they are Big….that means there is more of a demand for the change we are all talking and writing about. I do understand the need for others to lash out when they were are not familar with Gaiam….isn't that what so many do…whatever it is, when we are not intimate with them….know them. On my radio show, I would say I wanted to focus on what works, rather than what doesn't….and in healing…how can we focus on someone's gifts rather than all of their faults….or how they needed to do this or that….in my own healing journey….more people have said…oh there are bad guys in you…whether its entities, thought forms, toxins, you name it….and yet, I always felt we spend way too much energy on those things…and not enough of the beauty of another human, the earth, each other, our bodies….Love…..in my life, when, I was in a rough spot, say someone was trying to attack me physicallly, emotionally, mentally, I would focus on the beauty within them….and it was amazing the transformation that would take place..Of course, these days I am so sensitive and vulnerable, I must admit, I am finding it more difficult, because I have been up against so much negativity….and thus it feeds/breeds on the ones who feel defenseless.
So Zaadzsters becoming Gaiasters…thank you for your beauty and for remembering your beauty!!
With love,
kimberly